Two more weeks 'til school's out!
Are you ready?
It's the time of year when kids are looking forward to year-end field trips, parents are thinking about daycare and activities to keep little hands (and minds) occupied, and teachers are propelling themselves toward the finish line and...summer break!
Summer is a great time for parents to encourage kids to be creative -- to let go of the constraints of assignments, expectations, and the limitations of each school day.
While summer is an ideal time for this, actively using each day throughout the year to foster creativity is even better.
When we encourage our young children to follow their interests, to be silly and playful, to take chances and not worry about making mistakes, we inevitably help them learn how to be creative.
Leading creativity expert, Sir Ken Robinson, defines creativity as "the process of developing new ideas that have value." If we think about it further, creativity is what leads to improved problem solving skills, gray area thinking, and the ability to be visionary adults.
Who doesn't want that for their children?
For kids, creativity gives birth to a world that is filled with possibilities, options for making choices both now and when they grow older. It brings into being a sense of flexibility and hope, which our children will need to surmount life's smaller challenges as well as its major obstacles.
There are many good reasons beyond this, and ways, to foster creativity at an early age. Dr. Stanley Greenspan writes about this in his book, Great Kids: Helping Your Baby and Child Develop the 10 Essential Qualities for a Happy, Healthy Life.
Yes, creativity matters no matter what path your child takes someday. In his funny and passionate talk at this year's TED conference, Sir Ken Robinson discusses this as he makes a moving case for reforming our educational system, placing creativity at the top of the priority list for our children. Watch him here:
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Daring to Share
Lately, every time I turn on the television, the radio, or pull up my favorite online news site, what I am seeing and hearing is grim. Hundreds of thousands of people losing their jobs. Millions, their homes.
It certainly is sad, anxiety-provoking, and for some families and individuals, absolutely tragic.
But in the midst of all this, there is one positive thing we can do: Share.
As parents and caregivers, teachers and therapists, we are constantly asking, telling, or teaching our kids to share. Share your toys, share your favorite bouncy ball, share that video game controller, share your room, and ad infinitum.
If we look to our kids during this difficult time, there is quite a bit that they can teach us -- especially about sharing.
Think about when your child runs up to you and gives you his perfect, crooked smile that fills you with that sunshiny feeling: it's better than a million bucks! Or, about those times when your toddler says something so cute and funny that you feel richer than the richest man or woman on earth and can't wait to share it with the next person you see.
We can follow our children's examples. We can call up the old friend we miss to say, "I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you." We can smile at our neighbor, who unbeknownst to us, was until a minute ago, having a really hard day.
If you're willing to try it, I promise you will get something back. A good feeling, a greater sense of connectedness. And, the more you share, the better you'll feel.
Bottom line: Sharing creates abundance. Maybe that's what we've been trying to teach our kids all along.
It certainly is sad, anxiety-provoking, and for some families and individuals, absolutely tragic.
But in the midst of all this, there is one positive thing we can do: Share.
As parents and caregivers, teachers and therapists, we are constantly asking, telling, or teaching our kids to share. Share your toys, share your favorite bouncy ball, share that video game controller, share your room, and ad infinitum.
If we look to our kids during this difficult time, there is quite a bit that they can teach us -- especially about sharing.
Think about when your child runs up to you and gives you his perfect, crooked smile that fills you with that sunshiny feeling: it's better than a million bucks! Or, about those times when your toddler says something so cute and funny that you feel richer than the richest man or woman on earth and can't wait to share it with the next person you see.
We can follow our children's examples. We can call up the old friend we miss to say, "I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you." We can smile at our neighbor, who unbeknownst to us, was until a minute ago, having a really hard day.
If you're willing to try it, I promise you will get something back. A good feeling, a greater sense of connectedness. And, the more you share, the better you'll feel.
Bottom line: Sharing creates abundance. Maybe that's what we've been trying to teach our kids all along.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
DIR/Floortime: Support for Parents with Developmentally Challenged Children
For local parents who have children with developmental delays, there is a very helpful workshop coming up in Pasadena, California on April 4th.
An "Introduction to Floortime" will be presented by Diane Cullinane, M.D. of Pasadena Child Development Associates, Inc.
Dr. Cullinane is a Developmental Pediatrician, a Certified DIR Clinician, and an ICDL (Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental & Learning Disorders) Faculty Member. She is one of the few experts with advanced DIR/Floortime training in the area. I've attended this workshop of hers before. It is highly informative and will give parents more knowledge and tools for helping their developmentally challenged children.
For those of you unfamiliar with it, The Developmental, Individual Differences, Relationship-based/Floortime model was developed by Dr. Stanley Greenspan and his colleagues for working with kids on the autism spectrum. It takes into account the individual differences of each child, including temperament and sensory issues. DIR/Floortime focuses on helping children to improve their overall development (including communicating and relating, problem-solving, and logical thinking) rather than only on skills and isolated behaviors.
While DIR is the part that helps the clinician to assess the child's overall functioning, Floortime provides a framework for how to "be" with the child in school, daycare, home, and other settings. It includes how to interact, energize up to engage with the child, and play in such a way to both support and challenge him or her. It's a great tool that parents with developmentally delayed children can use!
I am a huge fan of DIR/Floortime and have found as a child therapist that it can also be successfully used with kids with emotional problems who are not necessarily delayed.
"Introduction to Floortime" (For Parents and Professionals)
Date: April 4, 2009
Location: Huntington Hospital/Braun Auditorium, 100 W. California Blvd., Pasadena, CA
Dr. Cullinane will present an overview of Floortime, including:
* What is Floortime and the DIR approach (as described by Dr. Greenspan and Serena Wieder, Ph.D.)
* The six Functional Emotional Developmental Milestones
* Basic steps and strategies of Floortime.
* Video examples of Floortime intervention.
* Time for questions and discussion.
To register over the phone, please contact Amber at 626-793-7350 x229 or Barb at 626-793-7350 x219.
To learn more about DIR/Floortime itself, visit the ICDL website, which includes a free video showing Dr. Greenspan and Dr. Weider explaining what DIR/Floortime is. There are also useful links and resources for parents on the site.
An "Introduction to Floortime" will be presented by Diane Cullinane, M.D. of Pasadena Child Development Associates, Inc.
Dr. Cullinane is a Developmental Pediatrician, a Certified DIR Clinician, and an ICDL (Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental & Learning Disorders) Faculty Member. She is one of the few experts with advanced DIR/Floortime training in the area. I've attended this workshop of hers before. It is highly informative and will give parents more knowledge and tools for helping their developmentally challenged children.
For those of you unfamiliar with it, The Developmental, Individual Differences, Relationship-based/Floortime model was developed by Dr. Stanley Greenspan and his colleagues for working with kids on the autism spectrum. It takes into account the individual differences of each child, including temperament and sensory issues. DIR/Floortime focuses on helping children to improve their overall development (including communicating and relating, problem-solving, and logical thinking) rather than only on skills and isolated behaviors.
While DIR is the part that helps the clinician to assess the child's overall functioning, Floortime provides a framework for how to "be" with the child in school, daycare, home, and other settings. It includes how to interact, energize up to engage with the child, and play in such a way to both support and challenge him or her. It's a great tool that parents with developmentally delayed children can use!
I am a huge fan of DIR/Floortime and have found as a child therapist that it can also be successfully used with kids with emotional problems who are not necessarily delayed.
"Introduction to Floortime" (For Parents and Professionals)
Date: April 4, 2009
Location: Huntington Hospital/Braun Auditorium, 100 W. California Blvd., Pasadena, CA
Dr. Cullinane will present an overview of Floortime, including:
* What is Floortime and the DIR approach (as described by Dr. Greenspan and Serena Wieder, Ph.D.)
* The six Functional Emotional Developmental Milestones
* Basic steps and strategies of Floortime.
* Video examples of Floortime intervention.
* Time for questions and discussion.
To register over the phone, please contact Amber at 626-793-7350 x229 or Barb at 626-793-7350 x219.
To learn more about DIR/Floortime itself, visit the ICDL website, which includes a free video showing Dr. Greenspan and Dr. Weider explaining what DIR/Floortime is. There are also useful links and resources for parents on the site.
Friday, February 20, 2009
In the Know
The other day, I was working with a teenage mom and her 10-month-old baby who was fussy and irritable. The mom tried rocking the baby, soothing her with her voice, patting her gently, and distracting her with a toy. But, baby kept fussing. Mom kept trying. And, tears where starting to roll down both their faces.
The mom's frustration was palpable. She turned to me and said, "I don't know what to do!"
The same day, while I was talking to another mom with three children, she began telling me that sometimes she just doesn't know what to do when her kids get upset and tantrum.
"They don't explain how to do it all in books I've read!" She said.
Later, I thought about these two very different moms, one a first-time parent and the other with three kids' worth of experience. I was struck by how no matter what your level of experience, it is impossible to know exactly what to do every time, especially when your child is irritable, fussy, or throwing a headache-inducing tantrum which seems to have no end in sight.
Here are some thoughts:
1. It's okay to not always know how to make everything better instantly. If you could do this, then you would be Super Parent. And, you would have to run around the world wearing tights and a cape. Do you really want to do that?
2. It's important to stay calm. Even if you are completely frustrated and ready to scream, remember that your child will pick up on your emotional state and this may make him more upset that he already is. Remember that no matter how bad the situation, there will be an end to it. It will not last forever.
3. Offering empathy always helps. Acknowledging the way a child feels helps him or her to feel understood, validated, and calmer.
4. Dare to try different things. Don't always rely on only one thing (such as a time out for older children, or a bottle for infants) to deal with challenging behavior. Be flexible and willing to try a range of ways to soothe your child.
And again, remember that as a parent it's okay and quite normal to not always be in the know.
The mom's frustration was palpable. She turned to me and said, "I don't know what to do!"
The same day, while I was talking to another mom with three children, she began telling me that sometimes she just doesn't know what to do when her kids get upset and tantrum.
"They don't explain how to do it all in books I've read!" She said.
Later, I thought about these two very different moms, one a first-time parent and the other with three kids' worth of experience. I was struck by how no matter what your level of experience, it is impossible to know exactly what to do every time, especially when your child is irritable, fussy, or throwing a headache-inducing tantrum which seems to have no end in sight.
Here are some thoughts:
1. It's okay to not always know how to make everything better instantly. If you could do this, then you would be Super Parent. And, you would have to run around the world wearing tights and a cape. Do you really want to do that?
2. It's important to stay calm. Even if you are completely frustrated and ready to scream, remember that your child will pick up on your emotional state and this may make him more upset that he already is. Remember that no matter how bad the situation, there will be an end to it. It will not last forever.
3. Offering empathy always helps. Acknowledging the way a child feels helps him or her to feel understood, validated, and calmer.
4. Dare to try different things. Don't always rely on only one thing (such as a time out for older children, or a bottle for infants) to deal with challenging behavior. Be flexible and willing to try a range of ways to soothe your child.
And again, remember that as a parent it's okay and quite normal to not always be in the know.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Eensies: A Giant Help for Parents
In these tough economic times, many parents I know have been feeling not only worried and concerned, but understandably stressed and overwhelmed.
It's a good time to remember certain important things, including that children can easily pick up on a parent's state of mind. Younger children who tend to be more egocentric may feel that "Mommy isn't happy," or "Something is wrong with Daddy," and blame themselves. If you see your child responding in such a way, this is a great time to remind him that you love him.
If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you are not alone. Now is the perfect time to reach out to friends, family members, or professionals such as teachers and counselors for support. Remember that no matter where you live, there are free local resources available.
One of the best online resources for parents (and one of my new favorites) is eensies. Started by two teachers (and parents), eensies is chock full of tips, activities, and advice. And, every Thursday is dedicated to answering parents' questions about everything from homework and reading to how to help your child make clean up time fun. Not only is eensies enjoyable to read and a giant help for parents -- it's also absolutely free.
Speaking of free, don't forget that love and hugs don't cost a cent. So give your favorite child a hug today and remember to check out eensies.
It's a good time to remember certain important things, including that children can easily pick up on a parent's state of mind. Younger children who tend to be more egocentric may feel that "Mommy isn't happy," or "Something is wrong with Daddy," and blame themselves. If you see your child responding in such a way, this is a great time to remind him that you love him.
If you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you are not alone. Now is the perfect time to reach out to friends, family members, or professionals such as teachers and counselors for support. Remember that no matter where you live, there are free local resources available.
One of the best online resources for parents (and one of my new favorites) is eensies. Started by two teachers (and parents), eensies is chock full of tips, activities, and advice. And, every Thursday is dedicated to answering parents' questions about everything from homework and reading to how to help your child make clean up time fun. Not only is eensies enjoyable to read and a giant help for parents -- it's also absolutely free.
Speaking of free, don't forget that love and hugs don't cost a cent. So give your favorite child a hug today and remember to check out eensies.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Eight Is Too Much
Like many of us, I've been following the story about the Bellflower, California octuplets with interest and curiosity. This morning, the mother, Nadya Suleman, was on the Today Show, insisting that she will provide her babies with unconditional love and attention.
It's a basic and obvious fact that babies need unconditional love and attention. However, actually providing this can be extremely difficult with just one baby. For parents with multiple babies who may have developmental problems, it's a massive struggle without additional support from family, friends, medical doctors, developmental specialists, and other outside help.
I've written often on this blog about how crucial the relationship is between a parent and child, right from the start. It is the very foundation of a child's healthy social and emotional development. Through this critical first relationship with mother, babies become kids who can communicate appropriately, manage their feelings, play well with other children, and empathize with others.
It is hard enough to develop and nurture but one relationship with a single newborn infant, not to mention an additional seven who may also experience developmental delays due to their prematurity. For even the most amazing mom, eight is just too much.
It's a basic and obvious fact that babies need unconditional love and attention. However, actually providing this can be extremely difficult with just one baby. For parents with multiple babies who may have developmental problems, it's a massive struggle without additional support from family, friends, medical doctors, developmental specialists, and other outside help.
I've written often on this blog about how crucial the relationship is between a parent and child, right from the start. It is the very foundation of a child's healthy social and emotional development. Through this critical first relationship with mother, babies become kids who can communicate appropriately, manage their feelings, play well with other children, and empathize with others.
It is hard enough to develop and nurture but one relationship with a single newborn infant, not to mention an additional seven who may also experience developmental delays due to their prematurity. For even the most amazing mom, eight is just too much.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
From Babies to Big Kids
As a child therapist, I get lots of questions from parents that start with, "Is it normal if my child is...?" There are so many developmental milestones to pay attention to and young children are changing so rapidly, it can be confusing to know where your child should be!
These days, there are lots of ways for parents to get information about their young child's development.
Parents don't have to necessarily wait until their child's next appointment with the pediatrician or see a child therapist to have their questions about development answered. There are books galore and internet resources available.
One of the newest and best of these comes from Zero to Three in Washington, D.C. They have created From Babies to Big Kids, an email newsletter parents can subscribe to which outlines where their child should be developmentally.
It's so easy! Just enter your name, email address, and the age of your child (you can enter up to three) and you will get a monthly From Babies to Big Kids newsletter tailored to your child.
This and other tools on Zero to Three's website can provide a lot of very helpful information for parents which can be further fleshed out by a pediatrician, child therapist, teacher, or other early childhood professional.
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