Like many of us, I've been following the story about the Bellflower, California octuplets with interest and curiosity. This morning, the mother, Nadya Suleman, was on the Today Show, insisting that she will provide her babies with unconditional love and attention.
It's a basic and obvious fact that babies need unconditional love and attention. However, actually providing this can be extremely difficult with just one baby. For parents with multiple babies who may have developmental problems, it's a massive struggle without additional support from family, friends, medical doctors, developmental specialists, and other outside help.
I've written often on this blog about how crucial the relationship is between a parent and child, right from the start. It is the very foundation of a child's healthy social and emotional development. Through this critical first relationship with mother, babies become kids who can communicate appropriately, manage their feelings, play well with other children, and empathize with others.
It is hard enough to develop and nurture but one relationship with a single newborn infant, not to mention an additional seven who may also experience developmental delays due to their prematurity. For even the most amazing mom, eight is just too much.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Baby's Play
Recently, I went to visit my friend, Amy, and her new son, Sven, who was just seven weeks old. Amy was adjusting well, had her Excel sheets to track Sven's sleeping and eating cycles, and was thinking about the days when she would be able to get back to her Ironman training again.
Most of all, she was trying to get used to being a mom for the first time.
Amy held Sven confidently and chatted with me about the little things she was noticing about him -- how he had long arms and legs like her but his dad's nose and eyes, that he seemed to usually hold one arm up whenever he was feeding, and that he tended to prefer leaning against her on his left side.
She also told me that she heard that you were supposed to play with your baby but that because he was still so "little," she wasn't sure how to go about doing it.
Playing with a baby even seven weeks old is wonderful fun and not that difficult. It's about cooing back when baby coos, smiling at him, laughing, and making silly faces. It's about making sounds that he responds to with a gurgle, another coo, or a slight wiggle. Then you gurgle, coo, and wiggle your fingers back, both of you filled with mutual delight.
These kinds of interactions are so important for a child to have from his earliest weeks on.
A child develops a sense of self and of the world through his relationships. The back-and-forth between baby and mom or baby and whomever else is of importance to him helps baby learn to recognize different types of facial expressions, stimulates his brain growth, allows him to develop the ability to engage with another person, and lets him try out all the fancy new tricks that his little body can now perform -- like smile, hold up his hand in a fist, and let out a startlingly loud fart.
As Amy and I watched, played with Sven, and realized that day, it's also just pure fun.
Most of all, she was trying to get used to being a mom for the first time.
Amy held Sven confidently and chatted with me about the little things she was noticing about him -- how he had long arms and legs like her but his dad's nose and eyes, that he seemed to usually hold one arm up whenever he was feeding, and that he tended to prefer leaning against her on his left side.
She also told me that she heard that you were supposed to play with your baby but that because he was still so "little," she wasn't sure how to go about doing it.
Playing with a baby even seven weeks old is wonderful fun and not that difficult. It's about cooing back when baby coos, smiling at him, laughing, and making silly faces. It's about making sounds that he responds to with a gurgle, another coo, or a slight wiggle. Then you gurgle, coo, and wiggle your fingers back, both of you filled with mutual delight.
These kinds of interactions are so important for a child to have from his earliest weeks on.
A child develops a sense of self and of the world through his relationships. The back-and-forth between baby and mom or baby and whomever else is of importance to him helps baby learn to recognize different types of facial expressions, stimulates his brain growth, allows him to develop the ability to engage with another person, and lets him try out all the fancy new tricks that his little body can now perform -- like smile, hold up his hand in a fist, and let out a startlingly loud fart.
As Amy and I watched, played with Sven, and realized that day, it's also just pure fun.
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