School is well underway now (though it feels like my last post was just written a few days ago). Whether it's preschool or first grade, many kids out there are enjoying success in the classroom, thanks to awesome teachers, teacher's aides, caregivers and most of all -- parents.
Pasadena parents Jackson and Elizabeth are a great example. They prepared their seven year-old son (who tends to be very anxious and dislike change) to enter a Mandarin-immersion class at a brand new school last month. They did this by spending time during the summer talking to him often about it. They were also able to take him by the school beforehand to meet the teacher. In talking to other parents in the neighborhood, they discovered that another child down the street from them would be in the same class too.
Sammy arrived on his first day filled with encouraging words from his parents and knowing what to expect, including who his teacher was. Plus, he had a buddy from the neighborhood! The latest word is that so far, he is learning up a storm and really enjoying the new class and school.
It's wonderful to hear good things like this from parents. It goes to show that when parents prepare their kids for major changes, the pay-off is big. Kids feel more confident and move that much closer to achieving their highest potential.
p.s. I actually wrote about Sammy getting ready to go to school not too long ago at theK5.com, so check it out!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Get Ready for School Success!
It feels like summer has just gotten going.
But, the calendar says differently. Unbelievably, it’s August already, which means the new school year is nearly upon us. For parents of school-age kids, this is the perfect time not only to get new backpacks, pencils, and notebooks. It’s also a good time to reconsider any concerns you might have about your child’s ability to learn and do well in school.
Evaluation for issues that may be keeping your child from reaching his or her full academic potential is called psychoeducational testing. Our friends at The K5 give a good explanation of what this is. To avoid re-inventing the wheel, we'll let their school psychologist, J. David Carr, tell you more:
In many school districts, psychoeducational testing is done to determine whether a child needs to have an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP. In my local area, parents also have the right to seek out a second opinion – at the school district’s cost. This means that if you are dissatisfied with the school’s testing or IEP results, you may seek out additional psychoeducational testing from a psychologist on your own. To find out more about this, you may contact your local school district.
A great resource for parents in Southern California who want additional (or first time) psychological/educational testing for their child, is Dr. Paula Bruce, who has a great deal of experience, expertise, and is just terrific to work with.
Remember: Identifying and understanding how your child best learns and where he or she needs additional support is one of the best ways to get ready for school success!
But, the calendar says differently. Unbelievably, it’s August already, which means the new school year is nearly upon us. For parents of school-age kids, this is the perfect time not only to get new backpacks, pencils, and notebooks. It’s also a good time to reconsider any concerns you might have about your child’s ability to learn and do well in school.
Evaluation for issues that may be keeping your child from reaching his or her full academic potential is called psychoeducational testing. Our friends at The K5 give a good explanation of what this is. To avoid re-inventing the wheel, we'll let their school psychologist, J. David Carr, tell you more:
In many school districts, psychoeducational testing is done to determine whether a child needs to have an Individualized Education Plan, or IEP. In my local area, parents also have the right to seek out a second opinion – at the school district’s cost. This means that if you are dissatisfied with the school’s testing or IEP results, you may seek out additional psychoeducational testing from a psychologist on your own. To find out more about this, you may contact your local school district.
A great resource for parents in Southern California who want additional (or first time) psychological/educational testing for their child, is Dr. Paula Bruce, who has a great deal of experience, expertise, and is just terrific to work with.
Remember: Identifying and understanding how your child best learns and where he or she needs additional support is one of the best ways to get ready for school success!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
So, What's the Plan?
The first time I met three-year-old James, he tumbled into the playroom, a ball of energy and a huge smile on his face. Without seeming to look where he was going (even though his eyes and head were facing forward), he hurried toward something enticing and promptly fell flat on his face.
Just as promptly, he bounded up, like a real-boy version of Tigger.
James is a boy who (as you already know) doesn't really look where he's going, whether he's walking ahead of you or running across the yard. He's easily distracted. While holding one toy, he will see another and hurl himself toward it so that he can grab it as fast as he can. He loves to jump on furniture, swing, and slap down hard that piece of multi-colored Play Doh.
It's never a dull moment with James around, which can be frustrating for his parents. And, unless we help him now, he will have a difficult time in pre-K and Kindergarten. He may become labeled as that boy who never follows directions or that kid who causes disruptions. Saddest of all, he will likely have a hard time learning.
One of the best ways to help a child like James think a moment ahead (like where he is walking) or to stay on task, is to make a plan.
"So what's the plan?" is a great question to ask. A plan needs to have steps, three maybe even four, and should be clarified at the beginning of an activity.
For example, today we're going to make pizza. 1. First we roll out the dough. 2. Second, we put the sauce. 3. Third, we put on the cheese. 4. Then we put it in the oven and wait!
If your little one forgets a step or jumps ahead, remind him again of what the steps were. "Hey! You jumped ahead. That's not step 2! What is step 2?"
If he has a hard time waiting, remind him that you're right there with him. It doesn't hurt to empathize, either: "I know, I know! It's so hard to wait, isn't it? So let's wait together."
Making and following a plan can be fun when you do it together. And, it sure makes staying on track a lot easier.
Just as promptly, he bounded up, like a real-boy version of Tigger.
James is a boy who (as you already know) doesn't really look where he's going, whether he's walking ahead of you or running across the yard. He's easily distracted. While holding one toy, he will see another and hurl himself toward it so that he can grab it as fast as he can. He loves to jump on furniture, swing, and slap down hard that piece of multi-colored Play Doh.
It's never a dull moment with James around, which can be frustrating for his parents. And, unless we help him now, he will have a difficult time in pre-K and Kindergarten. He may become labeled as that boy who never follows directions or that kid who causes disruptions. Saddest of all, he will likely have a hard time learning.
One of the best ways to help a child like James think a moment ahead (like where he is walking) or to stay on task, is to make a plan.
"So what's the plan?" is a great question to ask. A plan needs to have steps, three maybe even four, and should be clarified at the beginning of an activity.
For example, today we're going to make pizza. 1. First we roll out the dough. 2. Second, we put the sauce. 3. Third, we put on the cheese. 4. Then we put it in the oven and wait!
If your little one forgets a step or jumps ahead, remind him again of what the steps were. "Hey! You jumped ahead. That's not step 2! What is step 2?"
If he has a hard time waiting, remind him that you're right there with him. It doesn't hurt to empathize, either: "I know, I know! It's so hard to wait, isn't it? So let's wait together."
Making and following a plan can be fun when you do it together. And, it sure makes staying on track a lot easier.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The Hard Stuff
One of the most common questions I get from parents is how to talk to their children about difficult things. These are things that make mommy and daddy so uneasy that they often want to do it in the therapy setting with the support of a professional like me.
I call it talking about "the hard stuff." This may include parents having to tell their child about mommy and daddy's separation, divorce, or the loss of a loved one.
Although you might find it hard, you don't necessarily need a therapist to help you talk about the hard stuff with your child. With the right tools, it's possible to navigate the waters just fine.
Tools you will need: Some quiet time without distractions, the willingness to be honest with your child, wording that fits the child's age, and a loving and supportive attitude.
I've found that kids have an uncanny ability to know that something is going on before they receive an actual explanation from an adult. They are constantly reading our expressions and picking up on other cues that we don't realize we are putting out to the world.
This means that talking to your child directly about daddy moving out or the reason why grandma stopped visiting may come as a big relief rather than as something frightening or scary.
Using words that are age-appropriate is important too. A four or five year old who may not yet understand the concept of time will not grasp a wordy, abstract explanation of death. He will, instead, understand something more concrete, such as, "She died because her body was broken...And we will miss her so much."
Once the truth is out, you can also begin preparing your child for the next step, whether it's moving to a new house, getting used to seeing a parent only on the weekends, or saying goodbye to someone they loved very, very much.
I call it talking about "the hard stuff." This may include parents having to tell their child about mommy and daddy's separation, divorce, or the loss of a loved one.
Although you might find it hard, you don't necessarily need a therapist to help you talk about the hard stuff with your child. With the right tools, it's possible to navigate the waters just fine.
Tools you will need: Some quiet time without distractions, the willingness to be honest with your child, wording that fits the child's age, and a loving and supportive attitude.
I've found that kids have an uncanny ability to know that something is going on before they receive an actual explanation from an adult. They are constantly reading our expressions and picking up on other cues that we don't realize we are putting out to the world.
This means that talking to your child directly about daddy moving out or the reason why grandma stopped visiting may come as a big relief rather than as something frightening or scary.
Using words that are age-appropriate is important too. A four or five year old who may not yet understand the concept of time will not grasp a wordy, abstract explanation of death. He will, instead, understand something more concrete, such as, "She died because her body was broken...And we will miss her so much."
Once the truth is out, you can also begin preparing your child for the next step, whether it's moving to a new house, getting used to seeing a parent only on the weekends, or saying goodbye to someone they loved very, very much.
Friday, June 12, 2009
How to Deal with Aggressiveness In Young Children
A parent came to me this week concerned about her fifteen-month-old child being aggressive in daycare. Anxious and upset, this mom shared that she was worried that her daughter would be expelled.
Biting, kicking, pushing, hitting...These are behaviors that most parents don't want to see their kids engaging in.
It feels even worse when other parents, teachers, or caregivers give you a disapproving look, then tell you about something "bad" that they saw your child do today.
When it comes to aggressive behaviors in young children, here are some important factors to consider:
1. How old is your child? In other words, is your child exhibiting behaviors that are developmentally appropriate for his or her age?
For wobblers, and toddlers up to about age four who are not yet able to express overpowering emotions such as frustration or anger, and who may not yet have full command over how to touch softly versus roughly, behaviors such as hitting and pushing are not only not pathological, they are within the range of what is expected and normal.
2. What triggered your child to hit, push, grab, or bite? It's important to notice this so that you can be on the look out. Next time you observe the trigger, you can intervene to prevent or change unwanted behaviors.
For instance, did your son hit another child who grabbed his toy? Next time you see this about to happen, you can remind them both that they are friends and need to share. If hitting has already happened, tell them that hitting is not okay and point out who had the toy first. You can show them how to be "nice" and touch "soft" or "gentle."
3. What does your child's overall behavior look like? If your child is usually well-behaved, is responsive to you and other adult caregivers, and generally isn't aggressive -- except for this one time -- then he still remains an overall well-behaved child.
4. If your child is in daycare, preschool, or other structured settings during the day, be willing to work with staff to help identify triggers and address problem issues. The more consistently problems are addressed in different environments (home and school versus home only), the greater the likelihood you'll see improvements in your child's behaviors.
5. If hitting, biting, kicking, or pushing continue or worsen so that your child's overall behavior becomes unmanageable, consider seeking the support of a child therapist.
Biting, kicking, pushing, hitting...These are behaviors that most parents don't want to see their kids engaging in.
It feels even worse when other parents, teachers, or caregivers give you a disapproving look, then tell you about something "bad" that they saw your child do today.
When it comes to aggressive behaviors in young children, here are some important factors to consider:
1. How old is your child? In other words, is your child exhibiting behaviors that are developmentally appropriate for his or her age?
For wobblers, and toddlers up to about age four who are not yet able to express overpowering emotions such as frustration or anger, and who may not yet have full command over how to touch softly versus roughly, behaviors such as hitting and pushing are not only not pathological, they are within the range of what is expected and normal.
2. What triggered your child to hit, push, grab, or bite? It's important to notice this so that you can be on the look out. Next time you observe the trigger, you can intervene to prevent or change unwanted behaviors.
For instance, did your son hit another child who grabbed his toy? Next time you see this about to happen, you can remind them both that they are friends and need to share. If hitting has already happened, tell them that hitting is not okay and point out who had the toy first. You can show them how to be "nice" and touch "soft" or "gentle."
3. What does your child's overall behavior look like? If your child is usually well-behaved, is responsive to you and other adult caregivers, and generally isn't aggressive -- except for this one time -- then he still remains an overall well-behaved child.
4. If your child is in daycare, preschool, or other structured settings during the day, be willing to work with staff to help identify triggers and address problem issues. The more consistently problems are addressed in different environments (home and school versus home only), the greater the likelihood you'll see improvements in your child's behaviors.
5. If hitting, biting, kicking, or pushing continue or worsen so that your child's overall behavior becomes unmanageable, consider seeking the support of a child therapist.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Getting Creative - This Summer and Beyond
Two more weeks 'til school's out!
Are you ready?
It's the time of year when kids are looking forward to year-end field trips, parents are thinking about daycare and activities to keep little hands (and minds) occupied, and teachers are propelling themselves toward the finish line and...summer break!
Summer is a great time for parents to encourage kids to be creative -- to let go of the constraints of assignments, expectations, and the limitations of each school day.
While summer is an ideal time for this, actively using each day throughout the year to foster creativity is even better.
When we encourage our young children to follow their interests, to be silly and playful, to take chances and not worry about making mistakes, we inevitably help them learn how to be creative.
Leading creativity expert, Sir Ken Robinson, defines creativity as "the process of developing new ideas that have value." If we think about it further, creativity is what leads to improved problem solving skills, gray area thinking, and the ability to be visionary adults.
Who doesn't want that for their children?
For kids, creativity gives birth to a world that is filled with possibilities, options for making choices both now and when they grow older. It brings into being a sense of flexibility and hope, which our children will need to surmount life's smaller challenges as well as its major obstacles.
There are many good reasons beyond this, and ways, to foster creativity at an early age. Dr. Stanley Greenspan writes about this in his book, Great Kids: Helping Your Baby and Child Develop the 10 Essential Qualities for a Happy, Healthy Life.
Yes, creativity matters no matter what path your child takes someday. In his funny and passionate talk at this year's TED conference, Sir Ken Robinson discusses this as he makes a moving case for reforming our educational system, placing creativity at the top of the priority list for our children. Watch him here:
Are you ready?
It's the time of year when kids are looking forward to year-end field trips, parents are thinking about daycare and activities to keep little hands (and minds) occupied, and teachers are propelling themselves toward the finish line and...summer break!
Summer is a great time for parents to encourage kids to be creative -- to let go of the constraints of assignments, expectations, and the limitations of each school day.
While summer is an ideal time for this, actively using each day throughout the year to foster creativity is even better.
When we encourage our young children to follow their interests, to be silly and playful, to take chances and not worry about making mistakes, we inevitably help them learn how to be creative.
Leading creativity expert, Sir Ken Robinson, defines creativity as "the process of developing new ideas that have value." If we think about it further, creativity is what leads to improved problem solving skills, gray area thinking, and the ability to be visionary adults.
Who doesn't want that for their children?
For kids, creativity gives birth to a world that is filled with possibilities, options for making choices both now and when they grow older. It brings into being a sense of flexibility and hope, which our children will need to surmount life's smaller challenges as well as its major obstacles.
There are many good reasons beyond this, and ways, to foster creativity at an early age. Dr. Stanley Greenspan writes about this in his book, Great Kids: Helping Your Baby and Child Develop the 10 Essential Qualities for a Happy, Healthy Life.
Yes, creativity matters no matter what path your child takes someday. In his funny and passionate talk at this year's TED conference, Sir Ken Robinson discusses this as he makes a moving case for reforming our educational system, placing creativity at the top of the priority list for our children. Watch him here:
Monday, March 9, 2009
Daring to Share
Lately, every time I turn on the television, the radio, or pull up my favorite online news site, what I am seeing and hearing is grim. Hundreds of thousands of people losing their jobs. Millions, their homes.
It certainly is sad, anxiety-provoking, and for some families and individuals, absolutely tragic.
But in the midst of all this, there is one positive thing we can do: Share.
As parents and caregivers, teachers and therapists, we are constantly asking, telling, or teaching our kids to share. Share your toys, share your favorite bouncy ball, share that video game controller, share your room, and ad infinitum.
If we look to our kids during this difficult time, there is quite a bit that they can teach us -- especially about sharing.
Think about when your child runs up to you and gives you his perfect, crooked smile that fills you with that sunshiny feeling: it's better than a million bucks! Or, about those times when your toddler says something so cute and funny that you feel richer than the richest man or woman on earth and can't wait to share it with the next person you see.
We can follow our children's examples. We can call up the old friend we miss to say, "I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you." We can smile at our neighbor, who unbeknownst to us, was until a minute ago, having a really hard day.
If you're willing to try it, I promise you will get something back. A good feeling, a greater sense of connectedness. And, the more you share, the better you'll feel.
Bottom line: Sharing creates abundance. Maybe that's what we've been trying to teach our kids all along.
It certainly is sad, anxiety-provoking, and for some families and individuals, absolutely tragic.
But in the midst of all this, there is one positive thing we can do: Share.
As parents and caregivers, teachers and therapists, we are constantly asking, telling, or teaching our kids to share. Share your toys, share your favorite bouncy ball, share that video game controller, share your room, and ad infinitum.
If we look to our kids during this difficult time, there is quite a bit that they can teach us -- especially about sharing.
Think about when your child runs up to you and gives you his perfect, crooked smile that fills you with that sunshiny feeling: it's better than a million bucks! Or, about those times when your toddler says something so cute and funny that you feel richer than the richest man or woman on earth and can't wait to share it with the next person you see.
We can follow our children's examples. We can call up the old friend we miss to say, "I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you." We can smile at our neighbor, who unbeknownst to us, was until a minute ago, having a really hard day.
If you're willing to try it, I promise you will get something back. A good feeling, a greater sense of connectedness. And, the more you share, the better you'll feel.
Bottom line: Sharing creates abundance. Maybe that's what we've been trying to teach our kids all along.
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